Thu. Dec 12th, 2019

DILEMMA- CHAPTER 4


Nearly’s
‘I’m sorry’ I blurted out ,at least I owed him an apology if he offered to drive me home. KJ only looked at me and nodded.I wanted him to apologize too so I asked him to ,it took a lot of hisses before he did .
When he dropped me at the park very close to my place I thanked him again and left.I didn’t actually expect to see him again,but I did and this time I was also having a fight with a teenager who took my purse and refused to give it back (failed robbery attempt).When I saw him I was embarrassed this time ,I thought he’d think for sure that I was a psycho.He came to visit a worker in our neighborhood and he managed to get my purse back.

After that we exchanged numbers and talked for a while,started hanging out,went on dates and 
Love found us and here we are.
I was smiling at the end of my narration and turning to face KJ I could see that my heart was in the right place.I felt at home by just looking into his eyes and I was mesmerized by it.For a while I actually forgot we were at the table surrounded by five more people.
Gina cleared her throat drawing me back to reality and I was grateful she did because I didn’t want to leave the house wet again.
‘You are two are so in love,it makes me want to cry.I never thought that Jamie would ever fall in love,to talk of getting engaged, I’m so proud of you big bro’ Jane said almost tearing up.she’s definitely the emotional type.
‘James how could you even bump into someone and not apologize that is so rude of you, I thought I taught you better’ Mr’s Johnson retorte
KJ apologized again which was funny, but he had to please his mom.The beast was just staring at me ,maybe trying to see through me like he always did.This time it was different, I had the courage to look back and I was proud of myself.I had made progress.
After we had cleared the dishes off the table,Gina and I opted to help the maids clean up,but Mrs Johnson wouldn’t even have it.She told us instead to help Jane unpack her things.
Mark left immediately after we cleared the dishes, he had urgent family business to attend to so he couldn’t stay .
While Gina and I walked up to the stairs we couldn’t help but overhear heated up conversations coming from the direction Mr’s Johnson pointed as Jane’s room.
I knew it was wrong to eaves drop but honestly I couldn’t help but over hear 
‘ You are one horrible man,to think you’d actually care,to actually man up and confess what you did to her,How could you ? ‘Jane said almost sobbing
Do you even know why I came back, do you?! I have been living with the guilt of knowing what you are and not being able to tell her.I’ve watched her suffer everyday because of what you did to her and I can’t even help her.Do you know how it feels to visit your best friend at a psychiatric ward lost and unstable because of a monster like you.You are a horrible man and I loathe you.
I hate you for being my father and making me go through all this pain.

How dare you accuse me of such preposterous act Jane?Mr Johnson said.
What ever happened to your friend has nothing to do with me,You on the other hand are ungrateful child,you’re an ingrate if you think you can walk into my house and lay accusations against me.things that I could and would never do.You are an Ingrate!.
I can’t believe you’re lying dad,I saw you with my own eyes dad , I saw you. You know I should have known you’d deny and I was a coward for not saying something then.Now if you’re done with what you came here to do,I’d suggest you leave my room this minute.
With that Gina and walked down the stairs and pretended to be climbing back up ,he just looked at the both of us as we walked pass him.Then proceeded to his room.We knocked on Jane’s door and she opened her door.
We were right she was crying,we didn’t even bother asking her why,we just told her why we came to her room.
It took hours to get Jane’s things in place and while we arranged her things we discussed about a lot of things ,some private and some even more private.
‘So Mer have you guys done it yet?’Jane asked folding her shirts 
I wanted to pretend that I didn’t even hear her question but Gina repeated it in a reported manner probably to taunt me.wicked girl
‘Done what? I replied 
‘ oh please don’t play dumb with me,my brother is no saint and trust me when I say I’ve seen things,I have’ 
Ummm Jane don’t you think it’s actually weird asking me about my sex life with your brother,Gina here does it a lot but .I don’t know who I’m more uncomfortable answering you or her.At this point I was more than embarrassed,I could barely even make eye contact.
You haven’t, have you? That’s so sweet, finally someone to tame the tiger.Jane said laughing
Then Gina joined in.
I had to excuse myself to avoid sinking into the ground out of embarrassment apparently celibacy was such a horrible thing. How annoying I muttered.
It was already 4pm and I thought it wise to call KJ so that’d we’d be on our way .I started walking towards the stairs before a hand gripped me
‘I know what you are doing but trust me when I say ,if it ever comes to my son choosing between me and you, he will choose me.You may think he loves you but love won’t make him turn on me.I am his father and that will never change, he will always put family first. The sooner you leave the better for you’

I didn’t even get to reply before he waltzed out, I wanted to brush away what he said but I couldn’t help but remember his conversation with his daughter and he was right. KJ might love me but if I told him about his father would he turn on his father, because of me.This was an impossible situation.

Gina came down few minutes later and we all bid Mr’s Johnson and Jane farewell before driving .I only had one thought in my mind and it was about what the beast had said.
Gina had to get something at a friend’s so KJ and proceeded to my house.
You look worried’ he said as we climbed the stairs ,I had forgotten how observant KJ was 
I gave him a smile trying to reassure him that all was fine but he was persistent.
When we sat down in the living room I finally spoke
‘ Ummm KJ do you think that we’d end up together, that nothing can come in between us’
He was shocked at the question at first, but then he smiled and took my hand and kept it on his chest then he said’ I know that nothing and noone can come between us,because you’re my life.coming in between us would mean taking my life’
I love you very much and I mean every bit of it.
I was still scared but the reassurance I saw in his eyes made me forget my worry.I just sat close to him ,our faces inches apart .staring into his eyes,I could not only see my reflection,I could see more.I could see love ,the universe smiling at me telling me everything would be fine.
His hands whilst trying to keep my hand he mistakenly brushed my thighs.I didn’t know if to blame my hormones or my emotional state but something in me was riled up and I drew his face closer and kissed him the way I had never before.. Our eyes caressed each other increasing the temperature of the room and making it stuffy. I could feel the tension emanating from both of us. In his eyes, i saw the unspoken words and i understood each word, though not voiced. We hadn’t planned for this.
He deepened the kiss and I found out desires I never thought I had.Wait a minute am I moaning ?.With every touch the electricity ignited like wild fire. I felt weak within me, my legs a mass of jelly. I know my legs could not carry me if i’m asked to stand.My brain was very close to being dead,I could hear a part of it screaming celibacy but my body was adamant.
Regaining his voice he said, ‘baby,I think we should stop’.I hesitated a moment, unsure of what to do. In a croaked voice i replied, ‘ta-ke me he-re.Wait what! This was definitely not my brain talking,this was a war and my body was winning.wake up brain! Mouth always listen to the brain,you’ll get yourself in trouble
Outside the storm was building, accompanied by claps of thunder. Our lips met again and I was filled with kaleidoscope of emotions. I was mesmerized by the look in his eyes, each gaze drowned me into the depths of those beautiful and intelligent eyes. I looked at him, all beautiful (handsome) and manly male.With every touch I received a new hunger began to build.Slowly his hands went up to the hem of my gown and it went above my head.
I was to preoccupied peeling his shirt off,feeling his warm hard chest .This was one explosive feeling of pleasure that my body wasn’t ready to let go.
At our feet, things began to fall, materials that caused a barrier between two kingdoms fighting to meet.Strokes on my thighs ,fingers digging into his back ,making him moan and mumble things.It was either now or I’m a gunner.His hands were at the hook of my bra .It was as if all the hidden strength in me resurfaced and I managed to put up a resistance.
Stop! I breathed out,stop.His hands went limp and it was as if he was brought back to reality. He didn’t speak just regret forming in his eyes.I knew what he was thinking and I had to let him know it was not his fault.
Hey! I’m sorry I said hugging him ,I’m not ready for that kind of step and I know I messed up ,it’s not you it’s me.
He only looked at me and  nodded, he held me tighter and we just stood there. Wow! I didn’t eve. Know how my clothes left my body,human beings are indeed animals.
I barely finished my moment of bliss before Gina stormed in.
Oh great! I’m finished
KJ was shirtless and I helped him pick up his shirt ,how did it even leave his body? He hurriedly wore it ,gave me a kiss and greeted Gina who was facing the wall goodnight and left.
She turned to face me with a smile and I was too embarrassed to even say anything
‘Well ,well well,Meredith chinenye Onwuka care to explain’
Gina not now please I blurted out gathering my clothing’s and rushing to my room.
You can run but you can’t hide’ She called out chuckling’Finally some real gist’
I went to my bed and the event kept replaying in my head,I could feel every touch as i soaped myself .Maybe we need to explore ourselves more as a couple ,after all we were engaged. But then if we did what we did often ,the dream of having a wedding night a Virgin would be totally off the charts.
I wonder how long it took me before I drifted off to sleep.Who knows how KJ is feeling right now,was the thought I held on to.

Leave me alone!
I screamed while panthing ,yes the demon came again.I checked my phone and it was already 5am .I stood up and headed to the kitchen to get water.Nightmares meant lack of sleep to me but in a way they had become my alarm.
Gina was not up yet,thankfully.I was already dreading the cross examination she’ll give me after walking in KJ and I.It was funny how I would keep thinking about what happened. Simple biology, my body was craving for mating I guess.
I got lost in my thoughts and didn’t even notice when Gina walked in.She cleared her throat and I was aware of myself.
‘ ummmm morning,Gina how was your night?’ 
‘Osi gini? When did you become this mannered biko give me gist that you starved me yesterday’ she said stooping down to be facing me directly
Nothing happened, seriously you saw us didn’t you? I replied suddenly very shy 
She laughed and fell to the floor’ well who would have thought ,that you had it in you,I used to thing you and KJ were too celibate to even kiss,then I walk into you in your pants and bra and him barely clothed,I must comment on his beautiful body by the way,those abs are killers.Now that is a sight you don’t get to see everyday.
Gina don’t you think we shouldn’t even be having this conversation,besides your not supposed to comment on my fiance’s body, it’s very uncomfortable coming from you.
So tell me how did you feel?she asked making sure to maintain eye contact
I felt really good,too good I didn’t even know I could stop.Now I think it’s going to be more difficult being celibate, I wonder how some people do it with all these cravings.I answered very flushed at the thought.
I know I’ve always called you boring and all ,but honestly if you think you can pull it off ,you know being celibate then do it.As much as I enjoyed finding out you are sexually active ,I don’t think I appreciate any funny business in this house.I had to disinfect the couch yesterday. She said making faces.
I don’t plan on having ‘nearly’s’ again in this house’ I snapped back
What’s that ? Nearly’s she asked confused
Well nearly killed the bird’ she got it immediately and chuckled and on her way to the door she simply said ‘we’ll see about that’

I was enjoying the majestic strutting to the office ,making sure that I didn’t put too much effort in getting to class.it‘s not everyday that I get that privilege.
On getting to the class I was surprised to see a man facing the louvres ,probably waiting for my arrival.I was surprised because I wasn’t expecting any parent .They usually call before coming over .
He turned around to face me and I was stunned by how handsome he is.
‘ Good morning Miss Meredith, ive been waiting for you,I’m Scott’s father Nathan and I have a proposition for you’
I brought out my hand and shook him and was eager to hear what he said while still scanning his very handsome face.No wonder that kid is pretty.
You are more beautiful than he described, my son needs a tutor and I want to hire you?
‘ Thanks but I don’t think Scott needs a tutor, he has been performing excellently in all his subjects,except languages.But that’s not really a problem it’s understandable because he didn’t grow up here and the school can wave it for him.I replied slightly blushing at his compliment.
See miss Meredith ,that’s the thing .I want my son to learn at least one indigenous language, preferably anyone that you can speak.He already likes you and I didn’t want to hire anyone he wasn’t comfortable around,please
Too be honest I was confused, most parents beg for their children to drop languages and he’s begging for his son to offer one.I was still contemplating before I was cut off with

‘ I’ll pay any amount you want,it’s very important to me that he learns’he said
Thinking of it ,maybe I should take the offer it wouldn’t hurt helping him out and I was growing fond of Scott by the way.’Okay I’ll teach him,but I’ll tell you when I’ll start .Here’s my number so that you can call to pass information, there’s really no need coming to class’ I wrote it down and handed it over to him.
He thanked me and walked out  winking at his son on his way out
‘ funny guy’ Well if you all are done listening in on my conversation with Mr Nathan which is very bad,could you all please turn to page 7 of your math work book and solve the problems.
The children were giggling while some were probably shooting daggers at me for starting the day with math.
‘ ummm Miss Meredith, Paul called out raising his hand’ If I tell my dad I need a tutor ,will you also come teach me.he asked
Well Paul I would if your father agrees to it,but you don’t even need extra lessons, you’re doing very well.
As soon I was done with Paul ,ten more children raised their hands.

I got home by taking a cab,KJ had called and apologized for not coming to pick me ,he was really busy at work and couldn’t even make it.
When I got to the apartment  Gina was already home and she was sitted across a woman who was way too familiar to me.

Chinenyenwa I heard her call to me,’ There was only one person who called me that and I knew who it was’
Hello mother!

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